Something's Gotta Give

And for me, my propensity to work at a relentlessly steady clip, all the while disregarding my natural rhythm and allowing for the flow of life, is what had to give.

Could it be that I jinxed myself by measuring my performance of blog writing. My last blog in May, gulp, endearingly reviewed my frequency of posts. Stating that I had missed a week here or there and most recently an entire month. Or am I becoming more in tune with managing life amidst my own energy levels and work load.

Well.... as the summer is mostly behind us (still warm summer weather here, but calendar wise - fall is nearing), here I am sitting down to write another blog, now months, yes plural, months later.

Maybe if I quit measuring, marking and remembering how it went, I can relax into how it's going. We continue to settle back into a new rhythm as we settle into our house, with it's new vibe and our puppy, Pearl or as our granddaughter says, 'Eeeaaohrllll.

It has taken patience for me to let our remodel go at a more reasonable pace then I would have set, if I were left to my own devices and wouldn't you know.... it's beyond what we could have ever imagined. Doug and I say we have our first grown up house! It's largely due to working with Britney Stanley at Just Go Home Designs (.com) and we couldn't be happier with the progress we've made. The days of asking friends, does anyone have a spare couch - are long gone. Hello gorgeous!

What skill I've had to hone through this process, is letting things unfold in their natural time and that I don't need to hurry up and see a room through. That is huge progress for me.

We made Daphne's old bedroom into a fun craft room with a barn door that now opens up to the living room, extending our open eyed space. I have a few empty frames on the wall that will someday have art in them to accompany the other pieces that are already up. What a concept, I can move on and work on the next room, knowing that the right pieces will come to me in their own time.

This same approach is found in our living room. I have the frames up, most of them already filled but some are blank just waiting for the right piece to show up. It brings me solace to know that my patience in pausing will provide an optimal outcome. It's actually beginning to feel smart and grown up! I use to feel like I was failing, to leave bits undone.

This skill has already showed up in other aspects of my life. Here's a fun backstory to illuminate my point of how I was able to go with the flow this past week.

In 1990, Monte (my first husband and father to our future - two wonderful daughters) and I drove down to Cabo, tent camping along the way. He gave me a 2 year AA cake at a meeting in Cabo at the Hacienda Hotel.

In 2000, Monte and said future daughters, Haley & Daphne sailed aboard our own catamaran sailboat and home for four years - on a race called the Baja Haha. It happened to be the same time of year and I was able to celebrate my 12 years of sobriety. So off to the Hacienda meeting in Cabo we went.

In 2012, I had been a single mom for several years at this point and Daphne (my baby) was preparing to move out to attend Santa Clara University. I thought to myself that summer, it's going to be a big adjustment. I've been solely focused on raising our girls, what could I do this fall that I couldn't have done for the past decade or more.

I know.... I'll get online and find a boat to crew on for the Baja Haha. I found two boats that seemed like viable candidates. One was led by Capt. Bill and the other was Capt. Jack.

Capt. Jack's offer was notably nicer, in both the quality of his boat and himself. However, when it came down to it, Capt. Jack reached out at the end of the summer to let me know that his boat was full and there wouldn't be any room for me.

So, I reached out to Capt. Bill and let him know I was in, for he and his boat was nice enough! My friend, Kathleen and I even ventured out for a shake down cruise over a weekend in late summer to the channel islands with Capt. Bill and a friend of his.

It was a wonderful weekend, solid boat and good energy from all. The only fly in the ointment, was that Capt. Bill forgot to pack food! Luckily, we were only going to be gone for one night and we were able to collectively rummage through his galley and come up with a make shift dinner. Now, if you know anything about me, you know I always pack snacks. That night, Kathleen and I quietly ate my power bar in the privacy of our shared bunk.

Summer wrapped up and Daphne was off to SCU and in late October of 2012 Capt. Bill sailed into town. I knew where his weak link was and off to Costco I went to provision his boat with some fellow crew members. We are good to go..... or so I thought!

It came time for the send off party, in the parking lot of West Marine in Pt. Loma. This was familiar to me as which I had attended this festive party with Monte and our girls at the last Ha Ha - (what we affectionately call it). It's a chance for all sailors to meet up and celebrate our upcoming adventures at sea over the next two weeks while cruising south.

I dawned my 'I dream of Jeanie' costume and off I went. I ran into Capt. Jack and wished him fair winds and following seas. He said in his Texas drawl that he told his crew about this woman he met who had done the Ha Ha before. They shared their enthusiasm of having a crew member who would bring Haha experience and some feminine energy to the boat. Jack told them he had declined my offer and they did not take well to this information.

So, here I was, standing in the middle of the West Marine parking lot, 18 hours before our shove off time, being invited onto the boat that had originally piqued my interest the most. I let him know that I had committed to Capt. Bill and I regretfully walked off towards the front doors of West Marine.

As I entered, I saw Capt. Bill at the front of the store. We began chatting, before he set out to buy some last minute essentials. He opened up his wallet to find that his ding bat girlfriend had spent ALL of his money, leaving him penniless.

I quickly ran a movie reel through my mind of what if we had already shoved off and Capt. Bill had figured this out in Mexico, at the fuel dock with no ATM in site?

I told Capt. Bill right then and there, I am a person of my word, as I looked straight into his eyes with all of my earnestness and continued, unless I think my life is in jeopardy. I am not sure I will survive what other surprises are on your horizon, so I'm going to jump ship, with all due respect. He scratched his head and off he went.

I turned around and stepped foot back outside to quickly weave my way through the parking lot looking for Capt. Jack to tell him the great news, hoping he hadn't changed his mind. My duffle bag was already packed and I was determined to go on the Ha Ha, safely.

I was relieved that it was a thumb's up for Capt. Jack. He proceeded to introduce me to his dream crew. Jim, a college friend who is now a sailing coach. Gary, a Portuguese fisherman and Doug, a mechanic for an airline company. Needless to say, we sailed and ate well and everything stayed in tip top shape.

Meanwhile, I would be remiss if I didn't add that my friend, Heather had joined Capt. Bill's boat before I jumped ship. Feeling responsible for getting her involved, I let her know what I had learned and told her it would be ok if she changed her mind. She said it would be fine.

'Fine' might not have been a word to describe her first leg of sailing down to Turtle Bay, but nevertheless Heather chose to try one more leg with Capt. Bill. After all, they were all kind and were doing their best.

We arrived in the second port of Bahia Santa Maria and much later, Capt. Bill and his crew arrived as well. We were happy to see that all boats had made it in, for there were over 150 boats. Richard, the Grand Poobah, (and publisher of Latitude 38, a well known sailing rag) does a phenomenal job of keeping us free spirits accounted for with a daily roll call over the VHF radio.

Once we got to shore I was chatting with Heather and she said 'fine' had long since left the boat and she was reluctant to take the third and final leg with Capt. Bill. Their kindness had stayed intact much better than the boat's systems and a fellow crew members clothing had. I asked Capt. Jack if we had room for 'Suzy' and he said, hell yeah we do. Raising his arm in the air with a rallying motion, he said 'let's go get her as we head out of the bay for Cabo.'

Commence stand off between two boat Captains (welcome to add music here for extra effects).

We weighed anchor and began to navigate the crowded harbor of fellow Ha Ha boats to find Capt. Bill's boat. As we pull alongside of his boat, Heather was already topside, anxiously awaiting our arrival, hoping it's before they weigh anchor. I also want to mention that Capt. Bill still had 3 crew members, so this hijacking of Heather did not leave him short handed.

Capt Jack proclaims 'we are here to take Heather aboard my boat.' Capt. Bill protests and tries to derail the operation. Only to no avail, as Capt. Jack is the epitome of a strong, cowboy at sea who is impossible to budge. Capt Jack demands that her duffle bag is tossed over to his boat, which it is. Capt. Bill is now visibly effected as it's obvious that he is losing traction and we all mean business in getting Heather aboard our boat. Capt. Bill throws out his Hail Mary by calling Capt. Jack an asshole.

Without the slightest flinch, Capt. Jack says, 'I've been called worse and if being an asshole is what it takes to get this woman safely aboard our boat, well then I guess that's what I am.'

We proceeded to sail out of the harbor as we headed out into the ocean for our third and final leg to the 'We cheated death again' party at Squid Row in Cabo.

I was able to celebrate my 24th year of sobriety at the Hacienda in Cabo with a unicorn, or shall we say - fellow sober sailor. We are about that rare and the fact that someone out of a sea of 500 sailors noticed at our first stop in Turtle Bay that I was sober, is a Milagro.

How this story ties into my blog today is that although I had the Ha Ha of 2024 on my radar over the past couple of years - for how cool would it have been to celebrate 36 years at the Hacienda (I love patterns of numbers) it somehow slipped my mind this summer, which is when we would be organizing a way to join in the fun. I have since married Doug and it no longer simply me jumping aboard a strangers boat and sharing a cabin with the Capt. (not what it sounds like, Capt. Jack was as much of a gentleman as he was a sea cowboy!).

So, I first looked at the Latitude website only to see that the deadline to register was 36 hours from now! Yikes, I had to figure this out quickly.

I then guesstimated what it would cost to charter a catamaran with a captain so that we could safely get to Cabo. I quickly fired off through a nimble round of copy and pasting, text messages to 30 of our closest sailing friends, only to find that people either had time or the funds, but not both.

Thinking back to my past experience of jumping ship and being really lucky to have found myself on Capt. Jack's boat, I decided not to tempt fate twice.

I pictured the countless

talks I used to have with

my dear Dad and

how he wanted so badly

for me to learn patience and

the power of a pause.

Based on the flickering light in

our living room as we chatted

about not going... I know he's proud.

Does this resonate with you? Do you tend to jump, pigtails flying, whether it's filling an empty picture frame or jumping on a stranger's boat. Or do you find yourself feeling that a bit of a jump is what your life is missing. Might not be too late to find a boat heading south!