An Attitude of Gratitude

Each year, as we come together to celebrate Thanksgiving, my life presents a variety of settings, unfolding in both expected and unexpected ways.

When I was a child, our cousins, aunt, and uncle would visit us from LA, and I cherish the memories of being together and gaining a broader perspective of my roots. I enjoyed spending time with the Nesses. Uncle Paul shared my dad's calm and easygoing demeanor, and both were intelligent, understated, and witty men.

Fast forward to my young adult life and most of the years I found myself back at my childhood home, that has been a constant in my life. A life that has been filled with twists and turns, which I found to be grounding for me.

One year we found ourselves at my then husband's house in Sonoma County. His Mom was 100% Italian and I'll never forget the major ah-ha moment when I witnessed Emily, along with a half a dozen people were willingly in the kitchen and having a ball.

My Mom had a lot of talents; a talented pianist, seamstress, tennis player and quite crafty but the kitchen was not her favorite room in the house.

Up to this earth shattering moment, I was taught by example that the oven was never quite working right, the things (dishes) never all came out at the same time and that this was the room to fear and the part of the gathering to loathe. Fortunately, my Mom's ability to be the life of any party, including her own, always brightened my overall impression of hosting. She was fun, personable and knew how to work a room.

So, to see Emily, whip out not only a Thanksgiving meal but a homemade lasagna as well, I was truly blown away!

In this chapter of my marriage with Monte, we began a brief tradition of spending Thanksgiving in Mexico. My enthusiasm for cooking was no greater than my mom's, and Monte was always eager for an adventure. So, we would pack up our VW Camper van, with my mom and dad joining us, and head south for the day.

Having lobster on the bluffs of La Bufadora was the second best way to celebrate this day of gratitude. We were newly sober, newly married and enjoyed mixing it up. Why not, the rest of our lives as we knew it, now in sobriety was topsy turvy as well.

After having our daughters, we chose to return to tradition, which seemed like the best decision. We stuck with this choice until Thanksgiving of 2000, when we found ourselves in La Paz on our sailboat, 'See Life'.

We intentionally brought canned goods like cranberry and green beans to mimic Thanksgiving and found some sliced turkey at a nearby deli.

Once we became a two roof family, we chose to always have the same holiday schedule every year so that our girls would have a sense of tradition amidst our lifestyle.

Monte learned a lot from his Mom and was a wonderful cook as well. It was a no brainer that Thanksgiving was his holiday for the rest of their childhood. Now it's up to me to set forth and find my way for this holiday, as I had our girls the weekend that followed every year. Well, I like to bake, enough said. In 2001, going forward every Friday of Thanksgiving weekend we prepared 6+ Turkey Pot Pies to get us through our 'frigid' winters. It's a tradition that still holds up today!

I was filled with pride when I heard Daphne instructing her friends in high school on how to make a delicious homemade pot pie, and she added, "Now don't overwork the dough!" My Grandma Dona, who taught me how to make pie crust, was surely smiling from the other side!

What I've come to learn about the holidays in general and specifically Thanksgiving is that it doesn't matter if we are seated at our formal teak dining table that seats 12, enjoying lobster in Mexico or slices of turkey aboard See Life. It's what's in your heart that matters most.

I am thankful for all the experiences that have led me to where I am today. I now celebrate with Doug, and sometimes a few of our kids can join us. Even if they can't, the holiday still passes without reducing our gratitude. We agree that there should never be pressure to attend on a specific day, as our love for each other is much greater than any single day or photo opportunity.

This year we will be gathering at Haley's home, which we are so grateful for. We have two rounds of holidays before we are unpacked into our new home. We appreciate her graciousness and are looking forward to our time together.

A breathtakingly beautiful rainbow this morning from our RV window across the canyon, that appeared minutes before I was the main speaker on an AA meeting via zoom.

I am forever grateful for our family and for our shared perspective of what it means to be part of our family. It comes without expectations of what each day looks like and how, why, where or who gathers. We sincerely believe that every day is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

In Gratitude, Shari